It is one thing to maintain your center and be at peace when things are going well, but how do we stay aware and present in times of stress or anxiety? How do we follow what we believe is the better path, and not fall back into old bad habits? I will be offering thoughts on this subject periodically. Here is the first installment.

First, commit to some quiet time for yourself daily even though your anxiety makes you feel like you have to DO something immediately to fix things, or, you would rather just avoid feeling anything. You will do a much better job of fixing things if you make sure you have the right attitude and perspective first. And you will actually be able to get past those difficult feelings, if you take some time to connect with yourself and to remind yourself of what is important to you.

Start by emptying your thoughts and feelings out about the day, the week, your worries, your concerns, things that upset you, things that touched you, your happy moments. (This can be done by writing in a journal or talking into a recorder, whatever works for you.) Do this until there is nothing left that has an emotional charge on it. This stops these things from going round in your head. They are now recorded and you can go back to them later if you want to. If there is anything negative, see if you can see it from a different angle, see if you can reframe it in a more positive light. Write down an argument against it, as if you were talking your best friend out of a negative perspective.

Next, remind yourself of what you believe in. Whatever your spiritual belief or philosophy of life is, remind yourself of this foundation in your life, because this is what you can stand on. “What do we believe in?” It is important that we each answer this question for ourselves because we need to make sense out of what is happening in the world around us. So whatever that is for you, get clear on where you stand, and remind yourself of this regularly.

Now write down what you know to be your positive qualities and strengths, and remind yourself of these periodically. Remind yourself of who you are and what abilities you know you do have. This is hard for many of us to do because we have been taught to criticize ourselves. Imagine a scale with two sides balancing each other. For most of us, the negative side is weighed down by tons of criticism, and the positive side is way too light. We need to fill up the positive side with positive thoughts about us from good people in our lives, and from ourselves. Give yourself some encouragement and love for who you are and the effort you put into your life.

Give yourself ten minutes of this attention each day and you will begin to feel the positive effects of your own support in your life.

Many Blessings,

Viki Markham